how to make my FB fall for me?

[iamedmund55]

Originally Posted by larue

After carrying out a careful cost-benefit analysis of being in a relationship with this person, what you hope to get out of it versus what you're willing to pay.

Payng too much upfront because of unrealistic expectations is what causes most relationships to fail.

another good advice. at the start of the r/s of even when you just know the person and during the courting, i will not set the bar too high, i will actually date the person with activities and spending and similar to my daily life as possible so the expectations for she has of me not too high and I will not exhaust myself trying to maintain the relationship.

[iamedmund55]

Originally Posted by larue

You must have known the old me.

I thought I loved someone, turns out it was actually an expression of how much I hated myself.

probably we share similar experience. haha

[stunlikeveg]

Originally Posted by larue

You have described children very well.

As the basis of a romantic relationship though, that is a recipe for disaster.

Expect nothing in return? Nothing?

Then only fraction of a fraction of human beings are capable of love.

see my earlier post. I think we are in agreement

[larue]

Originally Posted by stunlikeveg

see my earlier post. I think we are in agreement

That does indeed put context to your post I quoted.

Romantic love is weak indeed, especially when people expect romantic love to be unconditionally strong.

Blood is thicker than water and always will be.

With very rare exceptions.

[princecharm94]

Originally Posted by larue

After carrying out a careful cost-benefit analysis of being in a relationship with this person, what you hope to get out of it versus what you're willing to pay.

Payng too much upfront because of unrealistic expectations is what causes most relationships to fail.

wont this method be weighing cost vs benefit and not how you know you love the person ?

[princecharm94]

Originally Posted by stunlikeveg

Not being cheesy or what but when you know for sure you can give up anything just so that the other person can be happy and safe and you'll do it without expecting anything back.

i agree with this statement but i think i wont want to "do anything for that person to be happy"

i looking for more towards two person happy together

[larue]

Originally Posted by princecharm94

wont this method be weighing cost vs benefit and not how you know you love the person ?

They're not mutually incompatible.

How could anyone possibly know if they love someone else without having carried out a thorough analysis of what one seeks, what the other party offers, what one offers on return and so on?

This takes away the supposed love people feel caused by their own infatuations or weaknesses (just look at how many men 'fall in love' with prostitutes). The very sort of love built on weak foundations.

Just like best friendships, the best relationships are those built on realistic expected returns from the relationship.

That is still love.

Calling it a cost benefit analysis somewhat tongue in cheek, but everyone does it, even from the every first date.

I simply think that everyone should do it from a more detached and realistic perspective and not simply rely on that warm fuzzy feeling of 'being in love'.

[99problems]

the fact that he's married and have another r/s with you clearly shows that he's in the marriage because of commitment... give it sometime.

[georgemagnum]

Enlightening thread

[princecharm94]

Originally Posted by larue

They're not mutually incompatible.

How could anyone possibly know if they love someone else without having carried out a thorough analysis of what one seeks, what the other party offers, what one offers on return and so on?

This takes away the supposed love people feel caused by their own infatuations or weaknesses (just look at how many men 'fall in love' with prostitutes). The very sort of love built on weak foundations.

Just like best friendships, the best relationships are those built on realistic expected returns from the relationship.

That is still love.

Calling it a cost benefit analysis somewhat tongue in cheek, but everyone does it, even from the every first date.

I simply think that everyone should do it from a more detached and realistic perspective and not simply rely on that warm fuzzy feeling of 'being in love'.

hmmm something to think about i never really looked at it this way. but maybe your are right. a common problem for those relying on the fuzzy feeling get bored after sometime and the problem starts once the fuzzy feeling no more

[JonnyFunnny]

Originally Posted by kengohchien

my FB is much older than me. Unfortunately, I've fallen for him. He is still pretty clear about us being just FB.

I enjoy his company, i enjoy our sex. I'm not asking for more because he is married. I have never thought of breaking up his marriage.

All I want is to just have a little more care and possibly love from him. How?

The whole thing is just making me a little depressed - because I know he just treats me as a sex object, yet I don't want to let go of what we have.

It's essential to recognize that you cannot force someone to develop romantic feelings for you. In a friends-with-benefits (FWB) relationship, both parties usually agree to keep things casual without romantic attachment.

Given that your FB has made it clear that he only sees the relationship as FWB and is married, it's crucial to manage your expectations and prioritize your emotional well-being.

Here are some steps to consider:

1. Communicate Your Feelings: While he has made his intentions clear, it's essential for you to express your feelings honestly. Let him know that you've developed deeper emotions and that you desire more care and emotional connection.

2. Set Boundaries: If he is not open to a deeper emotional connection, consider setting boundaries to protect your own feelings. This may include limiting the frequency of your encounters or taking some time apart to reassess the situation.

3. Focus on Yourself: Take some time to reflect on what you truly want and need in a relationship. Consider if continuing the FWB relationship is fulfilling your emotional needs or causing you more distress.

4. Seek Support: Talk to friends or seek professional help if you're feeling depressed or overwhelmed by the situation. Having a support system can be helpful during difficult times.

5. Consider Ending the FWB Relationship: If you find that the FWB relationship is causing you emotional pain and preventing you from moving forward, it may be best to consider ending it. Sometimes, letting go is the healthiest choice for personal growth and well-being.

Remember, it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and choose relationships that fulfill your needs and respect your boundaries. If the FWB relationship is no longer making you happy, it may be time to reevaluate and make decisions that are in your best interest.