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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help. |
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#61
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
with 2 kids.
she keep cheating. caught her 2x with evidance, should be more than 2x. i cant tahan even for my kids sake. so no choice. i have to do dna for my kids lol even they look like me. not going to help maintaince some1 else kids. for me nothing much, after divorce, my biz pick up. v happy. i think she jinx me, knn 10+ years together, i poor for 10+ years. i nv change job, just keep doing the same thing. but projects keep coming in. only sad thing is my kids. suffering under her. shout at them near their ear, pull their ear... haiz... |
#62
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
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__________________
ONE MAN'S MEAT IS ANOTHER'S POISON "A FR is to give reader an idea of what to expect, the pics and style of writing are to spice things up, to give more space for imagination, most important thing is we share and we enjoy." Bros with rep power are welcome to exchange 162 points daily |
#63
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
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#64
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
good for you bro. nice to hewr u doing well
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#65
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
I'm 41, married with 2 girls, age 4 and 8.
Met wife in 2005, married in 2008. Sex was passionate and frequent back then. We had a lot as well when trying to conceive the 2 kids. When 2nd kid was born in 2016, the sex suddenly grinded to a halt. We had sex 4 times only in last 4 years. I do not think its a medical issue and i couldnt find evidence of her cheating. I did notice her behaviour changed after she got a new job in 2016. She mentioned to me she's so envious of her colleagues who can go holiday trips to Europe or States once a year, fancied her bosses' posh house etc. I saddled into debts while running a side business. About 60k, and I'm under Debt Repayment Scheme. But I still provide, with my day job earnings. She and my dad fell out last Feb 2019, and she has hardly ever gone over to visit him, other than CNY and his birthday. I noticed she has narcissistic behaviour. And I am the codependent. A perfect and lethal combo. Took me this long to figure it out. I'm thinking of divorcing her since the passion is gone and I am a man here for her convenience (ferry her to work by car when its just 2 MRT stops away). Everything we discuss is either her job or kids. She would often spend time on Netflix or texting her colleagues about work. Else she'd make time for hair, nails, leg waxing, eyebrow tattoo. Never for the husband. never asked how's my day. I have spoken to her about our marriage issue, lack of intimacy etc and we need to work on it. She just replied "ok", but nothing improved. When my AWS last year and bonus came in this year, she just took my money put in her personal bank, says its to reserve for 'future car purchase' (Our old hyundai getz will be scrapped in 3 years) I'm tired of putting in effort and not getting reciprocated. Plus all the rest of nonsense. On the surface, we look fine. My in laws would often help with my kids etc. But inside, I am dying, really unhappy. Last edited by alleycat; 20-10-2020 at 07:38 AM. |
#66
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
[QUOTE=alleycat;20278036]I'm 41, married with 2 girls, age 4 and 8.
Met wife in 2005, married in 2008. Sex was passionate and frequent back then. We had a lot as well when trying to conceive the 2 kids. When 2nd kid was born in 2016, the sex suddenly grinded to a halt. We had sex 4 times only in last 4 years. I do not think its a medical issue and i couldnt find evidence of her cheating. I did notice her behaviour changed after she got a new job in 2016. She mentioned to me she's so envious of her colleagues who can go holiday trips to Europe or States once a year, fancied her bosses' posh house etc. I saddled into debts while running a side business. About 60k, and I'm under Debt Repayment Scheme. But I still provide, with my day job earnings. She and my dad fell out last Feb 2019, and she has hardly ever gone over to visit him, other than CNY and his birthday. I noticed she has narcissistic behaviour. And I am the codependent. A perfect and lethal combo. Took me this long to figure it out. /QUOTE] After reading your story, I find that you know what you want and you can analyse quite well. Yr wife based on what u said did not perform her duty as wife. Not just on the sex part. It was like an enemy to you and no more feeling for each other. If not for the kdi, both of u would hv divorced long ago. That could explain why we are here |
#67
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
This is largely true.
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#68
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
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#69
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
Aye Sir, also sexiness & sensibility seldom dwell in the same abode. Compromise can be tough when given 2 people who can argue their points for hours. And if the makeup sex is bad then it might not last that long if its just intellectual sparring. Many components and lubricants are needed to make a marriage work.
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#70
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
Yeap both Confucius & the Bible have mentioned this!
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#71
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
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She stayed with you even after you are bankrupt. Not bad leh. I dunno how many ladies will use that as a reason to leave. She took on a new job the same year your 2nd daughter is born. 2016 sounds like a stressful year for her. How many people will enjoy chatting with colleague about work in their rest time? I think she probably has no choice not to respond about work related questions while she is home. You are her husband and someone she loves and feel safe with. Of course she shares her innermost thoughts about overseas holidays, getting you to send her to work (2 mrt stops also not far what). Just listen lah. When your wife keeps such mundane thoughts from you, that is when you worry. That means she already distanced herself from you. Very hard to pull back sometimes. As for putting your bonus in her personal bank account, can the bonus money go into your personal account if you are an undischarged bankrupt? She is still planning for your (both of you) future. I suspect she is worried about pregnancy again with the current family financial situation. You got use condom or do family planning or not? Personal hygiene ok? KKJ got wash clean clean? Got ensure she is satisfied too? Got demoralise her by complaining about her figure after 2nd pregnancy? Married life will surely become mundane over time. Important not to expect things to be like last time when both of you are single. Unrealistic lah. I think she is an ok wife. Most wives are like that what.. complain about this and that a bit. Order you around a bit like asking you to drive them around. Think of it as forms of language of love lah. Driving her around is an act of love. When others see you sending her to work, others know she is loved and treasured. Not so important to us but i think important to many ladies. Still being appreciated. I think your problems can work out. I don't see how being single again for you is an improvement. Somemore your 2 daughters so young. You willing to let them grow up without either daddy or mummy meh?
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#72
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
A lot of ancient folk tales mentioned this as well. Hence, I am adamant about the modern marriage. Our fertility rate already reflects most marriage don't work in SG. It's just 1 of the symptoms.
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#73
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
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You keep focusing on the negatives but here are some things you should have a good think about: 1. She is not cheating on you, even though you have been whoremongering based on your post history. 2. She said "ok" to more intimacy. What do you mean by nothing improved? It takes two hands to clap. Can't tango alone. Have you done anything to get her in the proper mood for sex? 3. She has stuck by you even though you are in debt. This is a woman who is sticking with you through thick and thin. And you want to divorce her? Are you serious bro? 4. You call your wife a narcissist. And what is that diagnosis based on? Did she have a psychiatric assessment from a real doctor? If not, you are just giving yourself one more dumb reason to complain about your wife. 5. You call yourself codependent. Are you? Why are you complaining about having to fetch her to work in that case? If you are really codependent, you will have zero issues about being there just for her convenience. You obviously are not. So why victimize yourself? Why put your wife and yourself into pop-psychology pigeon-holes that have no clinical merit? 6. And for that matter, why are you complaining about having to fetch your wife to work? Especially if it is such a short drive? 2 MRT stop drive = 10-15 mins max. Can't spare 10-15 mins for your wife? What is your car for if not to ferry around your loved ones? To sit in the parking lot and collect bird crap on your windshield? 7. She spends lots of time on Netflix. Why don't you binge watch shows with her? Some shows are really good. And when there are R-rated parts, maybe you can get to initiate some R-rated stuff in real life too. 8. She took your AWS because you have proven yourself to be lousy with money. Its not like she spent the money on herself. She put it in the bank for the new family car. Also, be honest bro. You have been visiting whores. If she didn't put the money away, you would have spent at least some of it to get your dick wet. 9. You are complaining about how she is spending her time for her hair, nails, waxing etc. Bro you have been married for 12 years and she is still putting effort into maintaining her looks. What are you complaining about? 10. You are complaining about how she is spending her time texting her colleagues about work matters? Seriously? That's for work. Do you need to be reminded that she needs to work because you can't support the family on your own? What are you complaining about? 11. You are complaining about how she is not asking about your day? Do you ask about hers? 12. Sorry to say this but your wife being envious of others around her is natural. You aren't exactly husband of the year. And if she is not outright giving you shit about this, she isn't really complaining. It could be a cry for more affirmation and affection. 13. So instead of being resentful about this, why don't you try turning things around? The next time she talks about how Jessica from work gets to go to Paris, look her dead in the eyes and say "Dear, I am sorry I cannot give you the life you wish for now. But I can promise you 100% that I will work my ass off to give my darling girl the happiness she deserves". If she still loves you, 100% her panties will drop. Then you don't have to complain about your wife on a sex forum any more. 14. Then seriously work on turning things around. Start a small fund just for you and your wife. All those monies you are dropping on whores? Zero ROI. Put it into a holiday fund for your wife instead. And at the end of the year, go where ever you can afford. It can even be a staycation in Sentosa. People can see if you have been putting in effort. If your wife is not the materialistic narcissist you are painting her out to be, guaranteed you'll have sex more than once a year with her. Bro you seriously need a wake-up call. Nobody can tell you what to do with your life. But sometimes you need to ask yourself if you have been doing enough. Try being more positive. Ask yourself if you are willing to sacrifice your family just to get laid more often? Is this really what you want out of life? Good luck. |
#74
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
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#75
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Re: Divorceed fall in to share your sob story
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I maybe a bit evil here. Since you're in big debt. Its a good opportunity to go for divorce. Because she can claim less from you. But your matrimonial property, be prepared to cede at least half to her. If you still have an income even though deep in debt, the judge will still make you pay something every month for the children at least. Its just that you can use the "debt" reasoning to seek lesser maintainence. If you're truly unhappy and everyday is a living hell, just go for it. Maybe you want to ask her if its a living hell for her too. oh and if you go for divorce, forget about getting your kids' custody unless the wife is insane or violent to the kids. |
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