Cannot stop laughing.
Nice joke bro and pls share more nice jokes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbirdbird
I became fully aware last night that I've been spending entirely too much time with my computer. The first clue was when I noticed that my right hand is now permanently cramped into the famous "Microsoft Mouse" position.
I became fully aware last night that I've been spending entirely too much time with my computer. The first clue was when I noticed that my right hand is now permanently cramped into the famous "Microsoft Mouse" position.
The second hint was a little more tragic. As I lay in bed last night looking at my wife, thinking how nice it would be to have sex with her,I rested my hand upon her breast and gently cupped it (having no choice, since my right hand is now permanently cramped).
I heard a soft moan, but moments later she relegated me back to my side of the bed.
Alas, I had double-clicked her nipple
Hahahahaahaa this is damnn funny, thanks bro bigbirdbird!
1. While flipping through channels, catch a glimpse of men's underwear ad. Feel instant and overwhelming desire for sex.
2. Find partner. Begin undressing self and partner.
3. Wait a minute: What's going on? Partner is kissing you not on nipples but on lips. Guiding your hand away from lower regions and toward shoulder. Oh, right, now you remember. Foreplay.
4. Kiss and touch, kiss and touch. This is making you feel incredibly hot, while it seems your partner is still just warming up to room temperature.
5. Attempt to find "magic button" that will make your partner as turned on as you are. After much groping, finally think you locate it. Rub it. Rub it hard. Stop only when you notice partner's attention has drifted back to TV.
6. Offer to give oral sex, your third most favorite sexual activity. There is a chance that this may lead to receiving oral sex, your first most favorite sexual activity.
7. Spend 23 minutes on the giving end. When your partner finally seems enthusiastic enough to want to reciprocate, find that you're forced to stop after two minutes for fear of the entire encounter ending right there.
8. Almost "forget" birth control.
9. Now it's time for your second most favorite sexual activity. Okay, it's in. Thirty seconds later, attempt to train your mind on the anti-orgasmic image of the boy who peed on the school bus in third grade. Then, despite your best efforts, your mind returns to Matt Damon, and the school bus turns into a huge, rocking iron bed.
10. Your partner seems excited now. Very excited. Is partner having an orgasm? You can't quite tell. But who really cares, at least at the moment. Your body is being tossed skyward as if by a volcano and that howl of joy just might be coming from your own mouth.
11. Check surroundings. Yes, good, you're still in the same room.
12. Grasp partner's hand and say how great the sex was.
19-03-2019, 12:03 PM
