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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #31  
Old 28-11-2020, 10:07 AM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by ahgore View Post
Joint account for kids expenditures...and also.. for home improvements. Example.. aircon services, plumbing, etc.

I kinda guess that she wants 家用is because her peers gets it whereas she don't. Maybe she feels unfair or envy why others gets it.

She knows how much I make.. but maybe she wanna deprive me from spending money outside...like whoremongering..
I see, then you have already given 家用 what. Put in more money into the joint account and pay the bills (you are currently paying) using the joint account money, but put in more that what you need to pay the bills and see what she say lor

Seriously I think you should have another talk to find out the reason she expects an allowance from you, but make it clear is she is asking for her allowance or she is asking for more 家用?

I very much suggest you draw the distinction here, 家用(钱)是养家的,如果老婆是全职家庭主妇,家用就是她的。拿多少自己用,你很难过问,只能谈够或不够。 老婆要是工作,那就是共同养家,给不给她钱是另外一回事。

But when talking, give her the perception that you are doing this because you are concerned of her feelings and you are not negative to maintain her, after all she is your wife, see what she wants and why is she asking for it...I mean you mentioned she may want to keep you from spending money on your CCA because she is suspecting something? Although in mind, where got this thing call fair? It is fair that you live in a Condo but I live in my HDB or it is fair that you drive but I take buses and MRT?

Bottom line if your wife can compare her friends getting an allowance why not compare how much housework her friends do? Don't just compare the good, compare the bad too.

Just my personal experience, my ex-wife's concept is my money is hers and her money is hers, and she wanted to wear the pants in the household. Then what is the point right? This plus other factors made me divorce her. It came to a point, that going home after work is more stressful than in the office.

Now the current wife also thinks my money is hers and her money is hers (don't know is I suay or what) but she don't ask for an allowance nor does she asked for my salary (which my ex-wife did). This is actually more tiring because I must monitor to see if she is tight, then have to help her out lor...but what to do?

End of the day, if you are not planning to end the marriage, talk more to iron out the issue lah.
  #32  
Old 28-11-2020, 07:58 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

if need to pay wife allowance even when she earning decent income, you might as well get a mistress better.
why even bother to marry?
  #33  
Old 28-11-2020, 11:13 PM
ahgore ahgore is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by James912 View Post
I feel bad for you man. Like that really cannot save up for emergency funds or do investment and or even treat yourself. Really living paycheck to paycheck. I strongly feel it should be equal contribution from both parties (in percentages), of course must discuss with the partner to see what agreeable and reasonable.
Say is easy.. but hard to change mindsets. In Singapore, because of women's charter... women seems to think they hold power once they married. So if there's a time machine, I would go back in time and tell my then self not to sign the paper.
  #34  
Old 28-11-2020, 11:24 PM
ahgore ahgore is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvbreast View Post
I see, then you have already given 家用 what. Put in more money into the joint account and pay the bills (you are currently paying) using the joint account money, but put in more that what you need to pay the bills and see what she say lor

Seriously I think you should have another talk to find out the reason she expects an allowance from you, but make it clear is she is asking for her allowance or she is asking for more 家用?

I very much suggest you draw the distinction here, 家用(钱)是养家的,如果老婆是全职家庭主妇,家用就是她的。拿多少自己用,你很难过问,只能谈够或不够。 老婆要是工作,那就是共同养家,给不给她钱是另外一回事。

But when talking, give her the perception that you are doing this because you are concerned of her feelings and you are not negative to maintain her, after all she is your wife, see what she wants and why is she asking for it...I mean you mentioned she may want to keep you from spending money on your CCA because she is suspecting something? Although in mind, where got this thing call fair? It is fair that you live in a Condo but I live in my HDB or it is fair that you drive but I take buses and MRT?

Bottom line if your wife can compare her friends getting an allowance why not compare how much housework her friends do? Don't just compare the good, compare the bad too.

Just my personal experience, my ex-wife's concept is my money is hers and her money is hers, and she wanted to wear the pants in the household. Then what is the point right? This plus other factors made me divorce her. It came to a point, that going home after work is more stressful than in the office.

Now the current wife also thinks my money is hers and her money is hers (don't know is I suay or what) but she don't ask for an allowance nor does she asked for my salary (which my ex-wife did). This is actually more tiring because I must monitor to see if she is tight, then have to help her out lor...but what to do?

End of the day, if you are not planning to end the marriage, talk more to iron out the issue lah.
Thanks bro... you hit the points right.

I think the local women were brought up to think upon getting married, hubby money are theirs and their money are theirs. I got a friend who got married years back and he jio me be his brother. When he go receive wife on wedding day, his wife made him pledge out loud... his money is her money and her money is her money. I hear liao also tulan.

The wife so insecure meh? Scared no money? Ownself working... earn good money... still wan hubby to pledge out loud. I find it ridiculous.
  #35  
Old 30-11-2020, 11:04 AM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by ahgore View Post
Say is easy.. but hard to change mindsets. In Singapore, because of women's charter... women seems to think they hold power once they married. So if there's a time machine, I would go back in time and tell my then self not to sign the paper.
I would say nothing much to worry about the woman charter, the law is pretty fair. The charter was written into law when most women were housewives, these days if your spouse is working with a decent income, there is limited room she can ask for maintenance in the event of a divorce.
  #36  
Old 30-11-2020, 11:15 AM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by ahgore View Post
Thanks bro... you hit the points right.

I think the local women were brought up to think upon getting married, hubby money are theirs and their money are theirs. I got a friend who got married years back and he jio me be his brother. When he go receive wife on wedding day, his wife made him pledge out loud... his money is her money and her money is her money. I hear liao also tulan.

The wife so insecure meh? Scared no money? Ownself working... earn good money... still wan hubby to pledge out loud. I find it ridiculous.
I don't think all local women think like that; but then again I didn't date all the local women.

Ultimately I will say that, this is still an arrangement one needs to make with his wife.
I mean if I am making pretty much more than my wife means I am more capable, then in that case why in world she should be controlling the money?
  #37  
Old 01-12-2020, 07:40 AM
ahgore ahgore is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by TomMAffolter View Post
TS hit jackpot with his wife, a fat wife who is demanding an allowance hahah
Yah man.. not all men are given a good wife.
  #38  
Old 01-12-2020, 02:16 PM
expatamerican expatamerican is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by TomMAffolter View Post
sorry if it appears i laugh at your misfortune, but seriously men need to change their perspective from being the "lucky" one in finding a wife, to being the prize.
If you cannot be the prize where women will chase you, then better to be single alone and be the master of your own destiny, rather have a wife who is domineering and sees you like a buffalo to work and earn them money.
There is no such thing is being given a wife, you must seek and choose a good one that actually improves your life, if she doesn't make your life better than what you can do yourself as a single person why bother
Because social conditioning. When I was young I also followed the prescribed path and ended up with a controlling bitch. After 8 years of crap we finally divorced. After that I started traveling the world and realized just how easy it was to get young hot girls to fuck you (like in Brazil, Thailand and Phillipines etc). Changed my perspective on dating totally. I realized I was the catch (tall, decent looking, professional income, treated women well) and never settled for less than I deserved.

Now I have a Singaporean partner who is 20 years younger does EVERYTHING I want, is completely devoted to me and is worried all the time the I will leave HER!! She lets me sleep around as much as I need as long as I come home to her. On my end I completely changed her life and gave her things she never had before from her family. So it works for both of us.

Yes, i am sure luck had something to do with it. But knowing my worth and not being desperate helped a lot.
  #39  
Old 01-12-2020, 03:06 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by ahgore View Post
Yah man.. not all men are given a good wife.
Bro ahgore, I am not advocating divorce, but in all seriousness why do you put up with it? I agree with what you posted earlier on, that the man must dote on his wife.

In your case however, how have your fat wife doted on you?

Btw was your wife this fat when she married you?
  #40  
Old 02-12-2020, 12:02 AM
ahgore ahgore is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvbreast View Post
Bro ahgore, I am not advocating divorce, but in all seriousness why do you put up with it? I agree with what you posted earlier on, that the man must dote on his wife.

In your case however, how have your fat wife doted on you?

Btw was your wife this fat when she married you?
Usually women bloated after giving birth. Since years back she's not been doting me. I feel that I'm just used by her.

Sian lor... my life sucks. What to do? If there's a fb whom I can go release my stress... perhaps not so bad.. now my life is not as better than before. Just waiting for time to get by.
  #41  
Old 02-12-2020, 01:06 AM
xxx_OrOcO_xxx xxx_OrOcO_xxx is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Probably need to ask yourself (and pardon me, didn't read all previous posts in this thread except the beginning) :

Do you still want this marriage? Do you still wish to have her as wife?

If you need to find a fb, then it's probably time to let this partner go before things get complicated. Need to protect yourself from further damages caused by this partner.

Just my two cents worth....


Quote:
Originally Posted by ahgore View Post
Usually women bloated after giving birth. Since years back she's not been doting me. I feel that I'm just used by her.

Sian lor... my life sucks. What to do? If there's a fb whom I can go release my stress... perhaps not so bad.. now my life is not as better than before. Just waiting for time to get by.
  #42  
Old 02-12-2020, 02:08 PM
TenSanYi TenSanYi is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Wife basically bug me to give her money and reason is because she earn lesser -_-"
  #43  
Old 02-12-2020, 09:16 PM
EtherC EtherC is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

A lot of the “demands” we have in life stem from social engineering/programming. Take the example of engagement diamond ring value “should be minimum 3 months of the groom’s salary”. Try selling back a diamond ring to the jeweler. See how much $ you get back. A lot of it is inflated value through marketing fluff & thanks to monkey see monkey do behavior we succumb to the social pressure. Before marrying anyone look at how their family is, who their friends are & most importantly how independent thinking is that partner of yours. Love definitely shouldn’t just be your sole consideration. However often most people default to lemmings behavior & will let our emotions & social pressures get in the way of good decision making.
  #44  
Old 03-12-2020, 10:19 AM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by ahgore View Post
Usually women bloated after giving birth. Since years back she's not been doting me. I feel that I'm just used by her.

Sian lor... my life sucks. What to do? If there's a fb whom I can go release my stress... perhaps not so bad.. now my life is not as better than before. Just waiting for time to get by.
Actually I don't agreed on the women bloating part, I look around myself (my wife, my ex-wife and ex-gfs whom I ran into), my family (grandmother, mother, sisters and cousins) and colleagues and friends (including my friend's wives and friends of my wife).

That's about 100 women; what I observed if the lady is fat or plump to begin with, after giving birth, they are likely to remain like that or be fatter.

If the woman is slim and fit to begin with, then they will likely to slim down after confinement.

Of course there are exceptions, like my colleague, who had a nice curvy figure (easy on the eye). She put on so much (about 15kg) during pregnancy (she didn't control what she ate and snack a lot), then after confinement put on some more weight.

One day, she complained to me say she became ugly after giving birth (hubby more interested in watching TV in the living room). I was like, hello, I also rather see TV than see your body.

Then came all the nonsense about body spoilt have having his kids (very familiar to what another sister posted here), now became fat then the men don't appreciate.

My retort was your baby was around 3.5 kg? Then maybe the water bag another 3kg? so max 6.5kg? then where the extra 8.5kg goes to? After that during confinement eat and eat and put on some more weight.

Till today her youngest kid is already 2 years old, she still eat about the same as if she was pregnant, then complain what.

In fact, she was snacking while I was telling her that, then showed me black face and say I don't understand what....sigh....I pity the husband.

Last edited by iluvbreast; 04-12-2020 at 09:09 AM. Reason: typo
  #45  
Old 03-12-2020, 11:43 AM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Wife allowance

Quote:
Originally Posted by TenSanYi View Post
Wife basically bug me to give her money and reason is because she earn lesser -_-"
And because she wants to spend more? Isn't this selfish? You take home 3k, spend a 1k on the family but you wish to spend 2k on yourself so you ask your spouse to give you some money so you have some balanced.

There was once an ex-gf commented on PRC or Viet women marrying Singaporeans saying that they just want someone to support them, where is the love? I was more sympatric, I said those women also dreamt of prince charming but in their situation, the odds were against them.
I did asked her the same question, do you expect your husband to give you an allowance after marriage? Her answer was the same as your wife, if she makes less then he should give. Well my comment was then your thinking is the same as those PRC or Viet women what.
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