Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.
Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.
Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.
The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.
And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.
To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.
The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.
Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.
Don't worry Bro. Got solution. I am in the same situation as you. My youngest one is six years old. Last time had sex with my wife was Valentine's day 7 years ago which got her pregnant.
The solution. GUTI (Get Use To It). Not unless you want to get a divorce on the grounds that she is not fulfilling her martial duties.
Good post! A must read for bros in sexless marriages. Thanks bro fishmeup
I am married 20 years and experience the same. Its not about the one-off romantic holiday overseas as one bro suggested. Its about the whole day to day feeling. I text my wife often through out the day; I start by telling her I love her. When we are physically together, we habitually engage in "small talks". Never belittle what small talks do for women!
Yes, although communication is important, how you make her feel is even more important. Do you text your wife just to communicate your instructions to her? Or is every communication with you a dread for her?
Often, many couples cease to communicate bec they have quarrelled frequently over silly mundane things till they are so sick of each other. Their only communication is to text each other kids logistical matters. If that is so, you have prized mundane things over sex.
Let her have some wins. Remember how you used to accommodate her when you were wooing her?
The rot in marriages does not start with suggestions of divorce. It starts when couples cease to WANT to communicate. Sexless is the result. Its her way of telling you she ain't no want to connect with you; you do your things I do mine.
I am no corporate high flier - read as no buy Hermes bag for her. But I am still rocking it every week after 20 years. Women these days can settle their own material needs. Think they prefer their emotional needs fulfilled. They married you for love, not bec you are a bank. Hope my sharing helps.
Wanna know something? Total piece of crap, I mean from the ladies. They emphasis on communication because they are no longer observant and understanding. They need you to tell them in black and white.
I can read her body language that she like a dress or a bag. Does she even bother to read mine? I will be honest, most of the time, I feel like my maid is my wife. She knows what I like to eat, how I arrange my clothes better than my wife.
To understand someone that you love, you just talk or text and you do not observe? Cut me some slack.
Wanna know something? Total piece of crap, I mean from the ladies. They emphasis on communication because they are no longer observant and understanding. They need you to tell them in black and white.
I can read her body language that she like a dress or a bag. Does she even bother to read mine? I will be honest, most of the time, I feel like my maid is my wife. She knows what I like to eat, how I arrange my clothes better than my wife.
To understand someone that you love, you just talk or text and you do not observe? Cut me some slack.
You are so brutally honest. It really sounds like your maid knows your needs better than the wife. At this rate she may soon even take on supplementary duties like satisfying your physical needs....sounds like only a matter of time and your self-control!
Wanna know something? Total piece of crap, I mean from the ladies. They emphasis on communication because they are no longer observant and understanding. They need you to tell them in black and white.
I can read her body language that she like a dress or a bag. Does she even bother to read mine? I will be honest, most of the time, I feel like my maid is my wife. She knows what I like to eat, how I arrange my clothes better than my wife.
To understand someone that you love, you just talk or text and you do not observe? Cut me some slack.
It is a two way street, both parties need to communicate, both parties need to give it 110%, that is what marriage is the literal meaning is "formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship"
If one party gives 110% and the other 80% soon enough it will break down and fail.
The reason why the maid "knows what you like" is because it is her job. I hope you don't expect your wife to always have to cook, and arrange your cloths for you? it is a give and take.
Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.
Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.
Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.
The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.
And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.
To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.
The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.
Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.
You are not alone bro.. same goes here.. after kid is out everything stops by itself for whatever reason... anyway thats life health more important now
I can assure you your life will be boring because I know guy cannot live without sex life. Just ignore your wife and find some sexy girl in sugarbook which will give you memorable night.
You are so brutally honest. It really sounds like your maid knows your needs better than the wife. At this rate she may soon even take on supplementary duties like satisfying your physical needs....sounds like only a matter of time and your self-control!
No chance. Now getting old and scare of consequences. Last time young very reckless.
Now I will think, should I let her catch me fucking the maid and loss my marriage plus half my assets as though I am in the wrong?
It is a two way street, both parties need to communicate, both parties need to give it 110%, that is what marriage is the literal meaning is "formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship"
If one party gives 110% and the other 80% soon enough it will break down and fail.
The reason why the maid "knows what you like" is because it is her job. I hope you don't expect your wife to always have to cook, and arrange your cloths for you? it is a give and take.
Hahaha. Thanks for coming up for excuses for her incompetency lor.
Cannot cook then cannot observe? During the CB, she order lunch for me. Order one hor. No need to cook. Order lor mee. I wonder since when did she ever see me eat lor mee.
To prepare a birthday cake for the kids, she go and learn how to bake. spend half her day watching FB Live selling clothes. Don't know how to watch YouTube to learn how to cook what I like to eat?
She is not working. My mother look after my kids in the day so that after work, i have an excuse to visit my mother and eat some decent home cook food after a long day at work.
By the way, should she not be the one telling the maid what I like to eat rather than the maid observing?
Hahaha. Thanks for coming up for excuses for her incompetency lor.
Cannot cook then cannot observe? During the CB, she order lunch for me. Order one hor. No need to cook. Order lor mee. I wonder since when did she ever see me eat lor mee.
To prepare a birthday cake for the kids, she go and learn how to bake. spend half her day watching FB Live selling clothes. Don't know how to watch YouTube to learn how to cook what I like to eat?
She is not working. My mother look after my kids in the day so that after work, i have an excuse to visit my mother and eat some decent home cook food after a long day at work.
By the way, should she not be the one telling the maid what I like to eat rather than the maid observing?
Think she needs to be told how you're feeling about her. Tell her your unhappiness and frustrations. Don't take things for granted. She may not even be aware of her own deficiencies. Good luck.
After reading the sharings i now understand better... My story is similar. My wife is a tiger mom. After our one and only son, we hardly have sex, even if we do it's very obligated with very little feeling. My wife is very OCD in cleaniness and it pisses both me and my son off to the max... As a result, i have allowed for myself and my son to take refuge at my parents house. I have also gone spa many times and indulged in paid sexual service frm ladies who treat me much better than my wife... I am not sure about my son but if he marries someone like his mom I'm pretty sure he'll be eating outside like his father....
Hahaha. Thanks for coming up for excuses for her incompetency lor.
Cannot cook then cannot observe? During the CB, she order lunch for me. Order one hor. No need to cook. Order lor mee. I wonder since when did she ever see me eat lor mee.
To prepare a birthday cake for the kids, she go and learn how to bake. spend half her day watching FB Live selling clothes. Don't know how to watch YouTube to learn how to cook what I like to eat?
She is not working. My mother look after my kids in the day so that after work, i have an excuse to visit my mother and eat some decent home cook food after a long day at work.
By the way, should she not be the one telling the maid what I like to eat rather than the maid observing?
Maybe try arrange for a romantic staycation, create an opportunity for you to be alone with her and share your thoughts on things and how you hope romance can be alive again between you both? Being a mother, sometimes she can get carried away focusing on the kids and neglecting her man. Sometimes as a woman, we do appreciate our man initiating romance rather than stewing in anger.