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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help. This section is sponsored by Yakuza.

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  #61  
Old 19-01-2020, 02:00 AM
Hotfuzz Hotfuzz is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

TS
- start by loving yourself
- if you do not love yourself, nobody can love you
- believe in yourself despite what others say to try to bring you down

Depression is a vicious cycle that feeds on negativity.
Your wife's negativity is affecting your mental health and feeding into your depression.
Stop listening to her. If she says something negative about you, tell yourself it is her own view and it does not reflect reality. Stop arguing, you cannot change her mind. You know who you are. You can only do this when you believe in yourself and love yourself. That is your shield and armor.

Besides shielding yourself from negative outside influences, you should at the same time focus on your next step in loving yourself - seek improvement. In terms of career, health and looks and even social circle. Improve yourself by taking classes, and looking at opportunities at work to make a change in career, many times, a lateral change can open new opportunities. Do not get stuck in a dead end job, always be on the lookout for new opportunities. Improve your health by going to the gym. With healthy body, comes healthy mind. Fit body also gives you more confidence as you will look better. After that, invest in some self grooming goods, with better looks and health, your wife will start feeling insecure and give you more attention. Expanding your social circle is another way to expand opportunities, not just for career, but also in terms of things that you can learn from other people. This is your sword, to prepare yourself to attack life's challenges and improve your chances for success.

You need to shield yourself from negative reinforcements and embrace positive reinforcements. Trust me, your life will improve. This is from my experience, althoughI feel like I did not go through depression.

I was at the lowest point in my life a long time ago (I was a fat ass always playing computer games ignoring my ex-wife's needs, then later found out that she had a 2 year affair, then went through divorce, foreclosed our house, startup that I worked at for 5 years closed down - all within 6 months). The only saving grace at that time was that we had no children.

Within 6 months, I turned my life around by first hitting the gym and lost a lot of weight to be in my fittest form in life. Expanded my social circle and met many women, because I was looking good again and had more confidence. Found a new job immediately after the startup closed down, getting higher salary and stock options (Which later converted to downpayment that I could buy a house again). Traveled a lot as well.

Now I am married again with a kid but I am going to divorce my wife soon because she is disrespectful to me and my family, treating my money as her own, but her own money was only spent on herself (I make 4X of what she makes but she only contributed to 10% of household expenses) and other unhappy episodes during the these few years that we are married.

When you love yourself and have confidence, you are no longer going to be afraid and depressed. As a man, you have to hold on to certain principles, and make sure that you have control of your life and career and not let women lead you by the nose.


Hope this helps.
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  #62  
Old 19-01-2020, 02:18 AM
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ibanezjem555 ibanezjem555 is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

Bro TS,
You are not a loser, your wife is the loser.
She does not appreciate your love for her.
If she wants to be stay at home mum, she should have looked for a rich man. So, she should deal with her own expectations.
She plant chiku, expect durian, now disappointed, blame husband, then she is loser.
If so easy find rich man and marry, let alone make him stay faithful, then she go find lah.. every women also want to find. Who can find wins lor. But did she ? So she loser.
Bottom line for your wife is: play with the cards you are dealth with.
Demons are in your head bro. Shouting out loud because voice in head is so painful. Yes, me too except I shout for different reason. Resist those demons. Bro TS, you are normal. Wife is mentally abusing you.


Last edited by ibanezjem555; 19-01-2020 at 08:19 AM.
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  #63  
Old 22-01-2020, 12:58 AM
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ZanShen ZanShen is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

Since you cannot Satisfy your wife with the income you bring in, why not satisfy her on bed. Donít get me wrong, not trying to joke. I sincerely believe that once a womanís Sex life is fulfilled, she will create lesser or no problem to the husband. Imagine she begs you for more

Last edited by ZanShen; 22-01-2020 at 01:13 PM. Reason: making it more interesting
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  #64  
Old 22-01-2020, 08:54 AM
chaoslord chaoslord is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

Despite all the equality that women are fighting for, unfortunately it is us men that is expected to bring in majority of the bacon. That won't be changing anytime soon.

I empathize with your situation. Being in your mid-40s you feel like you are stuck in a rut. From money, to wife, to kids and to your own personal self esteem - nothing seems to be going right. It's tough but the reality is that you need to rough it out. In my view the order of priority should be

1. Yourself - You need to get seek advice and get your life back on track
2. Your Kids - If you treat them well (it seems like they love you), they would remember it. Even if you cannot give them the material comforts, you can teach them how to be a good person and be a valued member of society.
3. Money - Money can't solve all issues, but it can solve 80% of them. This would improve your self esteem and how your standing within the family.
4. Wife - To be frank, she sounds quite toxic. But then again most women do when frustrated. She should not however be a negative source in your life. Work on this to make it better.
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  #65  
Old 22-01-2020, 11:28 AM
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LordVader LordVader is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pictionary View Post
Hi admin, no doubt u are the designer of this website. But this is a totally seperate issue from medical, insurance and hospital. Other ppl are keen to discuss about this with you and learn infos, but i am not interested to.

But if u want to continue, pls share your difficulties in designing this website. But to link your difficulties with medical, insurance and hospital is no link. I dun mean to disrespect but really no link, no matter how rich and powerful you are. And a small group of ppl are forced to be very matured to handle such issues, it's a waste of time and energy. That's why just focus on your life better.

As for TS, just look at the IMH website, look at the list of illness and then decide for yourself. It's clearly written that they will do psychiatristic observation and sort of questionaire. ECG is to relieve your mental. Anything more, I will not elaborate and no further clarifications. He also has to roughly measure his wife expenses vs household income(note: Make sure no borrowing of money and leave at least 10k for any mishaps). If doesn't work out, then divorce wife. No use to talk to wife about sensible topics any further considering his current situation and is somewhat similar to other parts of sg society.

If dun get in bad debts and homeless, how ppl know the suffering?
There is seriously some screw lose in you boy.
Did IMH know you run road out of their premise?
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