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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #61  
Old 19-01-2020, 02:18 AM
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ibanezjem555 ibanezjem555 is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

Bro TS,
You are not a loser, your wife is the loser.
She does not appreciate your love for her.
If she wants to be stay at home mum, she should have looked for a rich man. So, she should deal with her own expectations.
She plant chiku, expect durian, now disappointed, blame husband, then she is loser.
If so easy find rich man and marry, let alone make him stay faithful, then she go find lah.. every women also want to find. Who can find wins lor. But did she ? So she loser.
Bottom line for your wife is: play with the cards you are dealth with.
Demons are in your head bro. Shouting out loud because voice in head is so painful. Yes, me too except I shout for different reason. Resist those demons. Bro TS, you are normal. Wife is mentally abusing you.


Last edited by ibanezjem555; 19-01-2020 at 08:19 AM.
  #62  
Old 22-01-2020, 12:58 AM
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ZanShen ZanShen is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

Since you cannot Satisfy your wife with the income you bring in, why not satisfy her on bed. Don’t get me wrong, not trying to joke. I sincerely believe that once a woman’s Sex life is fulfilled, she will create lesser or no problem to the husband. Imagine she begs you for more

Last edited by ZanShen; 22-01-2020 at 01:13 PM. Reason: making it more interesting
  #63  
Old 22-01-2020, 08:54 AM
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Re: Voice in my head

Despite all the equality that women are fighting for, unfortunately it is us men that is expected to bring in majority of the bacon. That won't be changing anytime soon.

I empathize with your situation. Being in your mid-40s you feel like you are stuck in a rut. From money, to wife, to kids and to your own personal self esteem - nothing seems to be going right. It's tough but the reality is that you need to rough it out. In my view the order of priority should be

1. Yourself - You need to get seek advice and get your life back on track
2. Your Kids - If you treat them well (it seems like they love you), they would remember it. Even if you cannot give them the material comforts, you can teach them how to be a good person and be a valued member of society.
3. Money - Money can't solve all issues, but it can solve 80% of them. This would improve your self esteem and how your standing within the family.
4. Wife - To be frank, she sounds quite toxic. But then again most women do when frustrated. She should not however be a negative source in your life. Work on this to make it better.
  #64  
Old 22-01-2020, 11:28 AM
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LordVader LordVader is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pictionary View Post
Hi admin, no doubt u are the designer of this website. But this is a totally seperate issue from medical, insurance and hospital. Other ppl are keen to discuss about this with you and learn infos, but i am not interested to.

But if u want to continue, pls share your difficulties in designing this website. But to link your difficulties with medical, insurance and hospital is no link. I dun mean to disrespect but really no link, no matter how rich and powerful you are. And a small group of ppl are forced to be very matured to handle such issues, it's a waste of time and energy. That's why just focus on your life better.

As for TS, just look at the IMH website, look at the list of illness and then decide for yourself. It's clearly written that they will do psychiatristic observation and sort of questionaire. ECG is to relieve your mental. Anything more, I will not elaborate and no further clarifications. He also has to roughly measure his wife expenses vs household income(note: Make sure no borrowing of money and leave at least 10k for any mishaps). If doesn't work out, then divorce wife. No use to talk to wife about sensible topics any further considering his current situation and is somewhat similar to other parts of sg society.

If dun get in bad debts and homeless, how ppl know the suffering?
There is seriously some screw lose in you boy.
Did IMH know you run road out of their premise?
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  #65  
Old 31-01-2020, 05:44 AM
Alson15 Alson15 is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

4k+ then 4k+ lo. You must grow a thicker skin to fight against all the negative notion that earning less means loser. Money is important, but dont lose track of what you should be earning it for.

And dunno why your wife keeps wanting to be a stay at home mom. If i were you in the fight ill ask back what are her reasons first. I mean if she say one or two times in anger ill keep it in. But if she keeps using this point then ill ask her why.

She want slack? You working everyday so hard to earn the 4k, she tmd ignore your effort and want slack even though she earning more? What kind of mindset is that as your wife?

She want take care of children? Like that okay lor you say you volunteer to take care instead, let her be the breadwinner.
  #66  
Old 02-02-2020, 03:35 PM
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Re: Voice in my head

I recall during my first few years of marriage. Wife kept saying that she wants to be a stay at home mom with a maid. I got so sick of hearing it and I replied to her that she married the wrong guy. I reminded her that living in Singapore is expensive and warned her to work harder noticing her bad spending habits. After that, I do not hear this from her again.
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  #67  
Old 28-02-2020, 10:43 PM
Pictionary Pictionary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leong26 View Post
For a start TS , disable all your social apps account . see no evil will be a good start.
Took quite a while to find your reply. I just want to say to you that, over time, i understand and agree a bit of what u write although the social apps is interesting and your advice is against my norms.

Yes, you are from a lousy industry but it does not matter to me whether u are a very fanastic website designer and programmer, lawyer, doctor, IT engineer etc. Your simple advice, over time goes by, works practically sometimes for me. So therefore, i will only follow your advice sometimes and ignore whatever toxic, sarcastic, act smart act matured reply from others. Hope u will continue to advise properly, dun yaya payaya, then anyhow.

Pls continue to contribute to this forum, i will give you my thumbs up. I am very disappointed with the rest of the samsters replies from the past,now and over time, and if you guys and gals insist to reply, mark me and say sarcastic extremist religious remarks, go ahead. I may reply a bit, but i will slowly let go.

And i need to say again. The contacts of proper bone massage, where to buy cheap and good quality goods, good websites are still not said in this matters of the heart. Still the same old professional advises which turns out overtime to be nothing. And if argue again, still overtime and major same thing and very disappointed. I am extremely disappointed with you PEANADOOD past, now and future. Pls dun bother to reply. I will not entertain your crap anymore! If you say entertainment okay, otherwise FORGET IT, FULLSTOP!

Last edited by Pictionary; 28-02-2020 at 10:55 PM.
  #68  
Old 29-02-2020, 10:49 PM
benjm85 benjm85 is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

I am also in a toxic marriage. No matter how i want to excel and progress in life, i am dragged down by my wife who has gambling problem.
I am only staying with her cos of our young kids.
  #69  
Old 01-03-2020, 02:58 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
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Re: Voice in my head

Quote:
Originally Posted by benjm85 View Post
I am also in a toxic marriage. No matter how i want to excel and progress in life, i am dragged down by my wife who has gambling problem.
I am only staying with her cos of our young kids.
Dont do it for the kids only. U'll be much miserable for the rest of your life.
Especially when spouse has big issue like gambling or drugs. Keeping together wont help them either because end of years she would have deplete your combined income / savings, leaving hardship and future liabilities for the children to bear.
Separately, u can still provide for your kids even when ex spouse has nothing for them.
  #70  
Old 02-03-2020, 12:07 AM
Pictionary Pictionary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallen11 View Post
Dont do it for the kids only. U'll be much miserable for the rest of your life.
Especially when spouse has big issue like gambling or drugs. Keeping together wont help them either because end of years she would have deplete your combined income / savings, leaving hardship and future liabilities for the children to bear.
Separately, u can still provide for your kids even when ex spouse has nothing for them.
Understood what u mean, but have to let go some.
In fighting a bloody war, some ppl will die or injuried in war zone, u cannot rescue all even if it's against your religious/conscience beliefs. Same as doctors, some want to rescue all but in reality cannot and some doctors have to say inhumane things to save their jobs.

So pls contribute to only entertainment and nothing else which you are expert in it. You already have a story behind it and that is enough of sayings which cannot practically solve the root of the problem.

And pes E9n9 is like a champion, especially for sg strawberry guys and can anyhow talk and dun want hardships. And pes F, i met these 2 ppl. No need to argue further. I agree to a certain extent, agree the tons of workload in current sg settings and unnecessary interferences, plus 2 weeks directive reservist. And u have to face FT/FW in everyday lives as another challenge. But i basic respect and listen to ppl for other ways of their lives, irregardless of nationalities.

I ask again and enough of talks now. Where are the proper bone massagers, where to buy cheap and good foods and what are the good websites to look at? U samsters are very great talkers and storytellers. Pls start the ball rolling, and enough of talks which eventually goes to nowhere.

Last edited by Pictionary; 02-03-2020 at 12:30 AM.
  #71  
Old 02-03-2020, 10:51 PM
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Re: Voice in my head

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pictionary View Post
Understood what u mean, but have to let go some.
In fighting a bloody war, some ppl will die or injuried in war zone, u cannot rescue all even if it's against your religious/conscience beliefs. Same as doctors, some want to rescue all but in reality cannot and some doctors have to say inhumane things to save their jobs.

So pls contribute to only entertainment and nothing else which you are expert in it. You already have a story behind it and that is enough of sayings which cannot practically solve the root of the problem.

And pes E9n9 is like a champion, especially for sg strawberry guys and can anyhow talk and dun want hardships. And pes F, i met these 2 ppl. No need to argue further. I agree to a certain extent, agree the tons of workload in current sg settings and unnecessary interferences, plus 2 weeks directive reservist. And u have to face FT/FW in everyday lives as another challenge. But i basic respect and listen to ppl for other ways of their lives, irregardless of nationalities.

I ask again and enough of talks now. Where are the proper bone massagers, where to buy cheap and good foods and what are the good websites to look at? U samsters are very great talkers and storytellers. Pls start the ball rolling, and enough of talks which eventually goes to nowhere.
U in wrong thread? This thread not for entertainment leh. Entertainment info go to entertainment section la.
So long liao still keep thinking the whole world like SAF?
  #72  
Old 08-03-2020, 02:45 AM
Pictionary Pictionary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallen11 View Post
U in wrong thread? This thread not for entertainment leh. Entertainment info go to entertainment section la.
So long liao still keep thinking the whole world like SAF?
Talk is cheap, no matter how u talk, sry!
I will only talk proper stuff with leong26, the rest i dun bother.
  #73  
Old 10-03-2020, 07:01 PM
benjm85 benjm85 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallen11 View Post
Dont do it for the kids only. U'll be much miserable for the rest of your life.
Especially when spouse has big issue like gambling or drugs. Keeping together wont help them either because end of years she would have deplete your combined income / savings, leaving hardship and future liabilities for the children to bear.
Separately, u can still provide for your kids even when ex spouse has nothing for them.
No choice, my kids r still young, they need their mum physically around.
So many times i have to help her with her debts, if not threaten by her to commit sucide. Sometimes i think about my kids i have to help her.

Once my kids r grown up, i will leave her.
  #74  
Old 14-03-2020, 05:15 PM
Pictionary Pictionary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leong26 View Post
For a start TS , disable all your social apps account . see no evil will be a good start.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leong26 View Post
For a start TS , disable all your social apps account . see no evil will be a good start.
👏. Thank you once again and many thanks. Appreciate your advise over the months thereafter. I need to pick myself up to do other things.
  #75  
Old 17-03-2020, 03:44 PM
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Re: Voice in my head

Did your wife change for the worse or you didn’t understand her well enough when you married her? Or did you jump into this fully aware of the consequences?

Quote:
Originally Posted by benjm85 View Post
No choice, my kids r still young, they need their mum physically around.
So many times i have to help her with her debts, if not threaten by her to commit sucide. Sometimes i think about my kids i have to help her.

Once my kids r grown up, i will leave her.
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