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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #31  
Old 13-09-2020, 07:29 AM
VoicesWithin VoicesWithin is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

There is a guy in one of my chats. Late 30s. Not married. No gf. No friends. Living with his mom. Balding. Not good looking. Unstable income. Recently lost his job.

He tried to woo a girl in the chat. The girl said Not only is he ugly, his character got problem. One track mind. Very stubborn. Once he thinks a certain way (wrongly) he will always insist he is right.

TS, the problem with unwanted men is not just the looks. It is the character. You should examine yourself why you have no friends or gf. The answers should be obvious. Work towards changing it.

If you stubbornly refuse to accept you have flaws, prepare to spend eternity alone.

Btw, when you say your mom is "mean", it already tells a story what sort of person you are. Your mom is kind enough to house you till you are mid 30s. Instead of being appreciative, you call her mean.
  #32  
Old 13-09-2020, 07:46 AM
supershaft supershaft is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

anyway let's not be judgemental cos "every family got a hard to read script".

only TS knows what's the true story.

the best advice is try to get rich n stay healthy.
things will somehow fall in place.
nowadays even the most stongest of relationships cant hold up to monetary and selfishness challenge.

By right, the mum has an obligation to house him cos she chose to give birth to him.
But having said that, even if she didn't house him, TS can still grow up in an orphanage..no issue..

1 rice feeds hundred types of people.
hope ts will find his guiding light soon.

Life is tough as a human and esp in this covid period.
Trueness of all relationships will be put to test.

My advice is still to stay with the mum unless absolutely no way out.
Housing of today is vastly different from the 40k hdbs the previous gen bought..
No longer an asset but a liability.
Just aim to stay healthy and maintain good financial health is the only way out.

We all walk alone at some point.
If we allow ourselves to believe we need relationships to flourish as a person, we will never be truly free.

cheers

Last edited by supershaft; 13-09-2020 at 10:26 AM.
  #33  
Old 14-09-2020, 10:01 AM
VoicesWithin VoicesWithin is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

Quote:
Originally Posted by supershaft View Post
By right, the mum has an obligation to house him cos she chose to give birth to him.
By this, i know you are not a parent.

I am a parent of teenage kids. I speak for most parents. We house our (rebellious and ungrateful) kids because we want to. Not because we have to.
  #34  
Old 14-09-2020, 10:27 AM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

Quote:
Originally Posted by supershaft View Post
anyway let's not be judgemental cos "every family got a hard to read script".

only TS knows what's the true story.

By right, the mum has an obligation to house him cos she chose to give birth to him.
But having said that, even if she didn't house him, TS can still grow up in an orphanage..no issue..

cheers
Bro Supershaft, true the mother have an obligation to house TS, since she gave birth to him, but to what age?
The question is how old is TS? Mid-30s and still his mother have an obligation to house him?
The point is unless TS bought the flat with his mother, which then made him a joint owner (with his mother), hence he cannot 'evict' his mother even though he dislike staying with her?
Or is TS at mid-30s still staying at his parents' flat which they bought with their while spending money to bring him up??
  #35  
Old 14-09-2020, 10:32 AM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

Quote:
Originally Posted by VoicesWithin View Post
By this, i know you are not a parent.

I am a parent of teenage kids. I speak for most parents. We house our (rebellious and ungrateful) kids because we want to. Not because we have to.
No offence but you don't speak for me. I have a different view, I house my kids because I chose to have them.

Once they are born, I have to house them until they become of age, it is not a matter of want to or not. After they are grown up then it is a matter of I want to or not.

So no bro VoicesWithin, to me (and my friends at least) your thinking is wrong.
  #36  
Old 14-09-2020, 12:25 PM
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squiggle squiggle is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

Don’t need to be sad, TS. I’m same like you. I don’t intend to get marriage, just living with my parents for now. When they die, I will inherit the house, I will then rent out almost all the rooms for rental money. I now will save up, invest, just being a workaholic, gyming, fking and studying only.
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  #37  
Old 14-09-2020, 02:01 PM
VoicesWithin VoicesWithin is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvbreast View Post
Once they are born, I have to house them until they become of age, it is not a matter of want to or not. After they are grown up then it is a matter of I want to or not.

So no bro VoicesWithin, to me (and my friends at least) your thinking is wrong.
You did not get my english. Read again.
  #38  
Old 14-09-2020, 02:16 PM
VoicesWithin VoicesWithin is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvbreast View Post
The question is how old is TS? Mid-30s and still his mother have an obligation to house him?
This is exactly what i am saying. Yea, we house our babies bec we chose to have them. But when they are of age, there is no more obligation. Instead of being grateful to his mom, TS calls her "mean".

We asians have filial piety embedded into us. At TS age, many are already supporting their parents financially and housing their parents or parents in law. Grow up TS. Stop being a spoilt brat.

It is fine if TS is not successful financially. As least, be grateful to his mom who brought him up and endured him >30 years. Not call her "mean" in a public forum.

Now let's see which bro disagrees with me on this.
  #39  
Old 14-09-2020, 03:03 PM
supershaft supershaft is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

parents have the obligation to house their children for as long as their children chooses to stay put with them.

if wana compare, some parents are rich and buy apartments for their children too.

As long as TS did not demand $$$ from his parent in order to buy a house to move out, then the both TS n the mum shd just accept status quo until TS ownself choose to move out.

Hard truth for how a good parent shd be like.

If need to geh gao young time obligated to house TS, grow up liao not obligated to house TS, may as well just throw TS to ophanage. He will still grow up pn his own anyway.

The point is when u decide to be a parent, you haave a duty to LLST and just accept everything, cos its ur choice to bring a life to this world.

And not the other way round.

Last edited by supershaft; 14-09-2020 at 03:43 PM.
  #40  
Old 14-09-2020, 03:35 PM
supershaft supershaft is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvbreast View Post
Bro Supershaft, true the mother have an obligation to house TS, since she gave birth to him, but to what age?
The question is how old is TS? Mid-30s and still his mother have an obligation to house him?
The point is unless TS bought the flat with his mother, which then made him a joint owner (with his mother), hence he cannot 'evict' his mother even though he dislike staying with her?
Or is TS at mid-30s still staying at his parents' flat which they bought with their while spending money to bring him up??
tbh.. nowadays u wana have kids, must be prepared to jaga all the way regardless of the age.

u will want ur kid to care for u when u r old right?

the point is, if one decides to be a parent, he or she has an unspoken obligatory need to be selfless, regardless of the situation.
If not, then may as well ownself jaga ownself till old.
  #41  
Old 14-09-2020, 03:41 PM
supershaft supershaft is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

Quote:
Originally Posted by VoicesWithin View Post
By this, i know you are not a parent.

I am a parent of teenage kids. I speak for most parents. We house our (rebellious and ungrateful) kids because we want to. Not because we have to.
yes indeed i'm not a parent.
But the point really is not whether u choose to or have to house them.
Rather it's an common understanding of obligatory responsibilty, just like you will wish your kid jaga you when u r old right?
Or you reli do think your self-reliance can last till eternity?
The choice to be a parent already eclipse the notion that there is a choice between have to or want to house them.

Or else why is there the saying that a parent's love is the greatest?

IM still for the concept that as long as the child does not ask $$$ from the parent unreasonably to fund own's want, then there should never be an issue at all.
  #42  
Old 17-09-2020, 03:23 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

Quote:
Originally Posted by supershaft View Post
tbh.. nowadays u wana have kids, must be prepared to jaga all the way regardless of the age.

u will want ur kid to care for u when u r old right?

the point is, if one decides to be a parent, he or she has an unspoken obligatory need to be selfless, regardless of the situation.
If not, then may as well ownself jaga ownself till old.
Like I said, I don't agree with your point, to jaga the kids all the way means they will never grow up, they will always fall back to the parent. Then after I died, they going to fall back to who?"

I think maybe because you are not a parent so you think differently. I have seen too many cases where the parents brought up 败家子,金山银山也不够败。Then? 2 sometimes 3 generations suffer altogether.

My family teaching very simple: Educate the kids as much as I can then let them go to learn to stand on their own feet, because 1 day they will be the head of their own household and must be able to carry that burden on their own. If I teach them the right values like filial piety, they will be filial to me no need to say I must jaga them then in my old age they jaga me.
  #43  
Old 19-09-2020, 09:16 PM
VinnieV VinnieV is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

No job no girlfriend no house no friends no problem
No confidence and dignity is what make things hard
  #44  
Old 21-09-2020, 08:03 PM
jaccy jaccy is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

try go socialize although the first trial will be difficult
  #45  
Old 22-09-2020, 10:49 PM
hokkienme56 hokkienme56 is offline
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Re: In my mid 30s, no gf, no friends, stuck in hdb with mum

maybe u shud go find sugar mummy, can bonk and get paid summore... sugarbook or seeking arrangement.. ur choice
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