[Jamester999]

Life is short.
Maybe you can forgive her.

Of course some things may never be the same,
you may not look at her the same way or love her any more.

But like i say, life is very short. Both of you 40-45.
Right now most important is to find peace.

Then, regarding whether to divorce (you can forgive her AND also divorce) or not,
I feel the best is to consider whether this will bring more harm.
It is important to remember that divorce here IS NOT ABOUT FINDING ANOTHER WOMAN. It's about the kids..

Hope you find an answer.