[heatingup]

I have been tearing these few days and spending more time with my kids. I become more tolerant of their annoying behaviour. Every time, I hug them, I become more emotional. I once teared in office and my male colleague saw.


19 Feb 2008, Tuesday

I went back to DSC for further checkup, to clarify many doubts, and ask for daily oral suppressive medicine. I was seen by the same Caucasian doc. Said that the culture test is 100% accurate so don’t have to do again.

I told her that my last protected BJ was in early June 2007 and my blood test was in Oct 2007. Only had genital massage and unprotected sex with wife in between. Yet…..

She said that if I had contracted HSV II from last protected BJ, my blood test should have shown. She raised suspicion about my wife too but, knowing my wife, I rejected that possibility.

The doc enquired about groin massage I had. I told her it is genital massage with bare hands that is supposed to treat my premature ejaculation. She said I probably contracted HSV II from genital massage via skin contact from one genital to another. I told her I remember that day she did not wash her hands and I was too shy to suggest that. I asked her that if I should be considered unlucky. She answered yes but she said HSV II is common. Some people get it on their fingers.

I also enquired when am I infectious (during & some days after outbreak. Normal day is just 3-4%), how to prevent transmission (no sex during outbreak & don’t share towel & shaving products), recurrent attacks (first two years more often then reduced).

The doc gave me another dose of antibiotics for standby though I asked for daily suppressive medicine. She suggested I monitor and understand my body better by waiting for another attack (ie. first recurrent attack). She said people have more recurrent attacks in the first two years. Some may have 3 or 4 in a year. Some may have once every month. I have hereditary sensitive skin problem and hereditary arthritis. I will die harder now that with herpes. Then subsequently the body develops resistance to it and thus less recurrence. Nonetheless, sunburn and exhaustion tend to lead to more recurrent attacks.

She suggested my wife to have a blood test.



20 Feb 2008, Wednesday

I went to AFA for HIV test. Being the first-timer for HIV test, I was asked many questions by health counselor. Told him I was just diagnosed with Herpes Type II and I asked him more questions. I told him my last penetration with WL was in Jan 2007 and last protected BJ was in May/June 2007 but my Oct 2007 was negative. I told him about my genital massage. He told me likely to be that as herpes can be passed on by skin to skin contact, not necessarily oral sex or virginal sex though virginal sex was the most common mode of transmission. He also said that some people have herpes on their hands.

My heart pounded for 30 minutes while I waited for my results. I almost collapsed there. Later numbers were called before mine. I thought die liao…

When my number was called, the counselor told me I am HIV NEGATIVE. I was so relieved. He told me to be more careful next time (when I visit WLs). I told him “No more!”


23 February 2008, Saturday
Anyway I have not had any erection since Valentine’s Day, the day I got my Herpes result.

I am going to tell my wife tonight, as I want her to go for a blood test and take precautions for the sake of our kids. I saw a few pimples on my son's forehead this morning and, remembering genital herpes can be on face also, I freaked out and decided to tell her tonight.

Hope she will forgive me, not break up the marriage and family, and keep this secret for me. I don’t want to be condemned by our parents and siblings.


For those who have offered ideas, suggestions and explanations, I thank you very much. But I still have a few critical questions. Brothers please help.

1. Can herpes virus in the body be detected by blood test even though the person shows no symptoms?

2. My handphone is registered under my wife’s corporate account. I am concerned that she would request mobile line provider to provide numbers and content of sms that i sent to FL or masseur. Will mobile line provider like SingTel or M1 be willing or able to provide details of my sms sent last year if my wife requests and pays?

3. My primary attack has started at the beginning of February and my penis still has dried-up pimple scars that have not gone away. Will they disappear completely?