[JEMMA]

Robby was aghast. "I've never kissed my mother like that!" he yelped. 

Robert picked up his napkin and began to arrange it on his lap. "Well you should some time. Her lips are also tender and sweet." He grinned. 

"Bobby!" scolded Ramona, putting a platter of meat on the table. "You have no shame!" 

"This is true," said Robert, nodding his head. "When it comes to kissing beautiful women I have no shame. I have just joy that I get to do so." 

Robert relented and stopped teasing as they all sat down to share food. Instead, he listened with glee at Debbie's retelling of the scene at the bank when he had come in and invited Ramona to dinner. 

In a fateful way, the telling of that story, and the laughter it produced, set the stage for Robert much better than anything else he could have done. When it was clear the story was over, and the chuckles had died down, he put down his fork. 

"I am thinking of something," he said, as if he had just thought of it that very moment, when in fact he had thought of little else ever since he had heard that Ramona's husband had died so tragically. 

Three sets of eyes fastened on him. 

"Here I am, having dinner with Ramona and her lovely children," he said. "And people in town are assuming I find her desirable." So far he hadn't said anything that caused any stir. 

"I do find her desirable," he said. Ramona blushed, even though she knew her children were quite aware of just how desirable he found her. 

"And on a first date, I should get to know some things about her, yes?" he asked. 

Three sets of eyes blinked in confusion. 

"Tell me, Ramona, if you would," he paused for effect. "What was your maiden name when you married your husband Mr. Fucking?" 

"Ramona Sexy," replied Ramona automatically. 

"How interesting," mused Robert. "I had heard a vague rumor that you had a different name at one time." 

Ramona stared at him. "I changed my name, Robert. You know that! What are you getting at?" 

"And how many people here in this delightful little town, would remember you as Elizabeth Naughty?" asked Robert, his eyes boring into his sister's. 

Ramona blinked again. "I don't think anybody would," she said. "They'd all be so old now. Most of them have passed on already, I'm sure. What in the world are you talking about?" she asked, exasperated. 

Robert waved a hand negligently. "I was just thinking that if Robert Naughty found the widowed Ramona Sexy desireable, and wished to date her, no one would think that strange in the least." 

He waited until there were somewhat dazed nods of affirmation from the other three people at the table. Ramona's looked a little doubting, but there was suddenly hope in her eyes. 

Then he dropped the bombshell. 

"And, if, as I recall, a wedding license requires only a maiden name and some form of identification. It seems to me that the names of Ramona Sexy, also known as Ramona Fucking, paired with that of Robert Naughty on such a document, would not appear strange to anyone either." 

He gave another negligent wave of his hand. "That is all I was thinking." 

He picked up his fork and took a bite as if he had merely suggested that having a picnic in the park might be a wonderful idea. 

There was a moment of hushed silence, so complete that Robert's chewing could easily be heard by the other three. A clock ticked loudly on the wall over the sink. Robby's chair creaked slightly as he shifted his weight. Then the fork Ramona had been holding over her plate fell from her fingers, to bounce off her plate and clatter against her glass. 

"You can't be serious!" she said, her voice hushed. 

Robert looked at her calmly. "I have never been more serious in my life." 

Debbie's lip quivered. "You'd be my Daddy?" 

Robert shook his head. "People would call me your step-father, but I could never replace your real father. I am content that you think of me as uncle. In fact, even if you were to call me 'Uncle Bob', I don't think people would find that too troubling, yes? You are almost adults yourselves, and to call a step-father 'uncle' instead of father would suggest your respect for the man who helped create you." 

"But you'd live with us?" asked Debbie. 

"I had hoped you would give some thought to living with me ... in our family home," he said. 

"In the Manor?!" Debbie said. She leaned forward. "We could live in the Manor?!" 

"I would be most happy if the Naughty mansion was again filled with happy ... Naughty," said Robert. "But perhaps we move too quickly. Your mother has said nothing." 

Debbie's face turned to that of her mother. "Mommy?" she asked, her voice high. 

Ramona looked gray. She was looking fixedly at her brother. "You don't fight fair," she said, her voice low. "You would bribe my children to force me to live in that place." 

Robert held up his hands, palms outward. "No, dear one. This is only a dream I have had ... that our home could be brought back, and the sadness chased out. That we could be together as we were, free to love each other. But I would never force you to do anything. If you choose to marry me I would be happy beyond my ability to proclaim. But if taking you home cost me your love, or cost you your happiness, I would not ask you to do that. I love you Elizabeth." He used her real name intentionally, to remind her of what they had felt for each other when she still used that name. "And if I must love you from afar, in the dark of night, then so be it. I would never force you." 

Ramona looked torn and sad. "But we could never marry. That's craziness." 

Robby ventured to say something. "Mom?" 

She looked at him. 

"What he said ... about your maiden name. It makes sense to me. I don't think anyone would think it was odd." 

"I suppose you want to go live there too," said Ramona tightly. 

"No! That's not what I meant at all Mom. I don't care where we live. But I've seen you ... when you look at him. You don't look at anybody else like that. I didn't even like him at first, but he makes you happy, doesn't he?" 

Ramona's weak spot had been probed. Robert did, indeed, make her the happiest she'd ever been, both in the past and now. "That's not fair," she said petulantly. "You know I love him." 

"Well gee, Mom," said Robby with sarcasm in his voice. "What do people in love do? They get married Mom." 

Ramona still didn't want to make a decision. Something deep inside her lit up at the thought of openly calling herself Robert's wife. But she was still afraid. She veered off from making that decision. 

"I suppose, since you love your sister, you want to marry her too?" she asked, throwing Robby's sarcasm back at him. 

"No," he said immediately. "I would, if I could, but people know who we are. Mom, they don't know who you really are. Nobody knows. Debbie and I didn't even know. You could do this Mom. It would work." He waited several heartbeats and then added, "If you wanted it to." 

Ramona had felt the pressure building ever since she heard Robert speak of marriage licenses. It had grown as Robert pulled at her heart strings. Debbie's attitude, though mercenary to some degree in Ramona's mind, suggested strongly that her hatred of Robert was a thing of the past. And now Robby approved of this mad scheme. 

"Of course I would want it to work," she groaned. "Nothing would make me happier than to be ... really be Bobby's wife." 

"Will you then at least think about it?" asked Robert. 

"You know good and well I'll think of nothing else you ... you ... you man!" she barked. 

"That is all I could hope for," smiled Robert. "And we," his hand swung in a small circle that included Debbie, Robby and himself, "We will refrain from speaking of this again until you have had time to consider this." He pushed his plate away. "In fact, I shall leave now, so that my presence does not sway you." 

Ramona stood too. "But Bobby ..." she held out a hand. "What about tonight?" Ramona had planned on wearing the dress for him again that night, before he left." 

As if he could read her mind he said, "My sweet, the dress will wait for another night. I am quite serious about this idea, and you need to be serious about your decision when you make it. I tell you now, I will abide by it, and my love will not lessen, whatever you decide. I care most for your happiness. If there are conditions under which you would accept, then think on those, so that I may abide by them too." 

He stepped away from the table. "If I were to stay, I would hold you and kiss you and make love to you, and that would not be fair. No, you must think on this." 

He stepped over to Ramona and took her hand. Very slowly and tenderly he brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her fingers. 

"Mrs. Fucking, I was honored to be invited to your home for dinner. I had a wonderful time, and would like to see you again. May I call on you at the bank?" 

Ramona sat down hard and her shoulders shook with a mixture of laughter and tears as her emotions boiled over. 

"Go on!" she barked, wiping her face with her hands. "I can't think with you in the house!" 

Robert bowed to his niece and nephew and wagged a finger at them. "Remember ... not a word to your mother." 

He had made it to the front door on his own when he heard Ramona's shriek. 

"Yes! Yes you may call on me at the bank!" 

He was smiling as he closed the front door behind him. 

Inside it was not as happy a place, at least not for Ramona. She sobbed, mostly just to release her emotions, but because as much as she wanted her brother's crazy idea to work, she just couldn't believe it would. Somebody would remember, or find out, and then everything would be ruined. One moment she decided firmly it was too great a chance to take. Then she slid down the slippery slope of thinking how wonderful it would be if it did work. She felt arms around her - two sets of arms - and heads placed against each side of her own. They said nothing. They were just there. 

She looked up with tearstained eyes at her children, first at Robby and then at her daughter. 

"You have to tell me what to do," she sobbed. "I don't know what to do." 

Debbie had made tremendous strides toward becoming an adult in the past month or so, but she wasn't quite there yet. She pantomimed turning a key to her lips and then threw it over her shoulder. 

Ramona raged at them, then jumped up and stalked all around the kitchen, circling the table. She picked up one of her pieces of good china and drew her arm back to throw it, so great was her rage and frustration. A hand gripped her wrist, clamping it in a way that felt completely unbreakable, and the plate was pulled from her fingers. She turned to see Robby, his face grave, and she realized he was seeing her throwing a tantrum. 

She wilted, and flowed against her son, who handed the plate to Debbie and hugged his mother tightly. He kissed her hair and said soft words that everything would be all right. Her rage abated as quickly as it had come and she looked over at Debbie, who had tears running down her cheeks too, though she cried silently. There was pain on her face and Ramona couldn't take that. She reached out an arm and drew Debbie into the huddle. 

They stayed that way for a long time, just holding each other.