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Old 19-01-2020, 02:00 AM
Hotfuzz Hotfuzz is offline
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Hotfuzz deserves a Tiger! - He's a Good Guy
Re: Voice in my head

TS
- start by loving yourself
- if you do not love yourself, nobody can love you
- believe in yourself despite what others say to try to bring you down

Depression is a vicious cycle that feeds on negativity.
Your wife's negativity is affecting your mental health and feeding into your depression.
Stop listening to her. If she says something negative about you, tell yourself it is her own view and it does not reflect reality. Stop arguing, you cannot change her mind. You know who you are. You can only do this when you believe in yourself and love yourself. That is your shield and armor.

Besides shielding yourself from negative outside influences, you should at the same time focus on your next step in loving yourself - seek improvement. In terms of career, health and looks and even social circle. Improve yourself by taking classes, and looking at opportunities at work to make a change in career, many times, a lateral change can open new opportunities. Do not get stuck in a dead end job, always be on the lookout for new opportunities. Improve your health by going to the gym. With healthy body, comes healthy mind. Fit body also gives you more confidence as you will look better. After that, invest in some self grooming goods, with better looks and health, your wife will start feeling insecure and give you more attention. Expanding your social circle is another way to expand opportunities, not just for career, but also in terms of things that you can learn from other people. This is your sword, to prepare yourself to attack life's challenges and improve your chances for success.

You need to shield yourself from negative reinforcements and embrace positive reinforcements. Trust me, your life will improve. This is from my experience, althoughI feel like I did not go through depression.

I was at the lowest point in my life a long time ago (I was a fat ass always playing computer games ignoring my ex-wife's needs, then later found out that she had a 2 year affair, then went through divorce, foreclosed our house, startup that I worked at for 5 years closed down - all within 6 months). The only saving grace at that time was that we had no children.

Within 6 months, I turned my life around by first hitting the gym and lost a lot of weight to be in my fittest form in life. Expanded my social circle and met many women, because I was looking good again and had more confidence. Found a new job immediately after the startup closed down, getting higher salary and stock options (Which later converted to downpayment that I could buy a house again). Traveled a lot as well.

Now I am married again with a kid but I am going to divorce my wife soon because she is disrespectful to me and my family, treating my money as her own, but her own money was only spent on herself (I make 4X of what she makes but she only contributed to 10% of household expenses) and other unhappy episodes during the these few years that we are married.

When you love yourself and have confidence, you are no longer going to be afraid and depressed. As a man, you have to hold on to certain principles, and make sure that you have control of your life and career and not let women lead you by the nose.


Hope this helps.