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Extra Large Condoms

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells extra large condoms.

He replies, “Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?”

She responds, “No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?”


Exhausted Wife

A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband.

"Don’t you love him anymore?" asked the lawyer.

"Oh, I still love him," she replied, "but all he ever wants is make love, I can’t take it anymore."

"Instead of divorcing him, why don’t you try charging him every time he wants to make love?" the lawyer suggested.

The exhausted wife decided to give the plan a try.

As soon as she walked into the house that night her husband put the move on her.

"Not so fast," she replied. "From now on it’ll be $10 in the kitchen, $20 in the living room and $50 in the bedroom."

"Well, then," he said. "Here’s $50."

The wife began walking to the bedroom.

"Hold on," he said, grabbing her hand. "That’ll be five times in the kitchen!"