Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

hello to all brothers and sisters out there. Just wanna share my own story in regards to FL. feeling kinda miserable and seems like I'm on a downhill roll but trying hard to pick myself up.

If u ask me, I'm a person which doesn't have much issue with my life. I have a decent job, have a decent gf, have a bunch of close friends. Compare to many people, i'm really fortunate.

Recently, i visited my first FL. Was thinking very hard should i look for a FL and try or not. But still went ahead and do it. While doing it, it felt good and exciting but after doing it, felt very guilty and scare. guilty because i'm attached and scare coz afraid of STD. I did used protection of course but these are not 100% safe still.

Then two weeks later, I went to visit another FL again. This time, less guilty but still afraid of STD. After visiting the second FL, i kept thinking and asking myself am i addicted to it. I dw to be caught in an endless loop and keep going for FL. As of now, I do not have the urge to go for FL again because of the STD fear and also not wanting to keep spending money on FL.

U maybe thinking why don't i do it with my gf. Because both of us are busy plus it's kinda hard to find private place and time to do it with her. And she only do bj and hj for me. we did not have intercourse before. reason being it seems like not the time yet. kinda hard to explain.

if u ask me why i even started looking for FL, i'll say maybe because i'm bored and enjoy the excitement and thrill. but i can imagine the consequences if things blow out of proportion. So at this point of time when i'm clear minded, i'm constantly reminding myself not to do it again and keep the STD fear in my head so i wun go 'screwing' around not only for me but for my gf also.

i'm not a perfect person. no one is. i'm trying very hard to keep myself away from all these. what's worse is i know i shouldn't do it, and i still do it. Since i made my mistake, i try not to continue this path. If not, maybe i should seek help before it's too late..

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

TS,
There is nothing abnormal with you. It is out of curiousity that you sought the forbidden fruit. After satisfying your curiousity, subsequent trips to FL is merely to satisfy your lust. You are right about trotting down that slippery slope. Most guys in SBF are so deep down that slope that they have accepted/want commercial sex as a part of their lifestyle.

What's good is you realize visiting FL is not the way forward. For a decent man. I assume you are one. Not only is it unsafe, a piece of you goes missing every time the deed is done. You felt the guilt. Why? Bec sex was created to bind you with your spouse. Not bind you and a random girl. Look deep into the eyes of a FL, and you will see she has lost her soul. To her, it is just another day, another guy, another act. Sex has lost its meaning. Isnt it sad? Sex is supposed to be so much more. A time of pleasure with your loved one, an expression of love, a bonding, an exchange of emotion etc. Well, if you want to be like the FL that lost her soul, then continue down that slippery slope. Then one day, sex with your gf/future wife will be "just another act".

Else, I do recommend you find a way to curb that lust. Your right hand has other uses besides just writing. Perhaps you should bring your r/s with your gf to another level. Why does she not want to have sex with you? How old are you? Why is marriage not on the cards?

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

Thank you bro for replying. i agree with what u said. And yes, i used my right hand to curb my lust for the past few days after I looked for my second FL. I have the urge to look for her again or another person but i just used my right hand and end all thoughts there.

My gf wants to have sex with me, but we both are looking for a right time and right place to do it. Other than doing it at her home, there isn't much option for us since my place is always occupied by my parents. I can hardly have any privacy to be honest. So ya.

And marriage is in the talk now. Just that i'm trying to secure my job first before any major plans can be set in motion. It will be soon i secure my job so I just need to be a little more patient.

Sometime i do not know what coz me to go down this path. Yes, many people had given their soul to the devil and just continue down the path. I'm not sure how strong am I mentally and physically to prevent myself from falling deeper. and i don't want to fall deeper. But still thanks for replying me. It set my mind thinking.

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

Bro TS, can u define right time and right place? Place.... U can always book a hotel... time wise.... u need to elaborate. U did mentioned your girl friend wanted sex as well... so it's not "after marriage then do it" agreement. Then what kinda time u referring to?

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

Ts, at lest u are more fortunate than most of us who don’t even have a gf before... i was 32 and not really achieving anything yet in life.. too scared to talk to girls, don’t even touch a girl hand before thats why i go into fl last time .. but well, onces u are out of it, all is well.. i guess..?. :/
anyway just ask urself , what is it that u really wanna in life? Im sure u areally have the answer <~~ just learn to control urself bah, and all the best to u ~

Time perhaps is our anniversary or valentine's day. Something along that line.

Thanks bro for the reply. I know i'm fortunate. That's why i do not want to jus throw it away because of my own lust. I want to control. Jus need to know how strong am i and by admitting my mistake here is definately a start.

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

Aha you betrayed your GF! :D

Sounds like you & GF not exactly working out. Most couples have lust and they'll find ways to fix that no matter how busy or difficult. So, work on your relationship and the rest will fall in place.

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

Can you tahan that long or not? Should just go ahead when both of you are horny. Once both of you have done it, it will become a regular thing already.

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

yes i betrayed my gf and i felt guilty about it. i'm trying to change on my behalf since i had done wrong to her. and yes, we'll work on the relationship more. thanks bro

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

we had tahan for quite long le. so perhaps the time is near to do it and like wad u said, it will become a regular thing and i can settle down for my needs.

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

You know what the worst thing is?

You find fl then when u marry yr gf or have sex with her, you find her not as attractive as the fl. Skill not as good. Then u hiam her, dun enjoy the sex etc.

Innocence is good. Save it for yr gf ba. The more girls u sleep with the less satisfied you'll be.

For me, after a few times, my interest in fl dropped. Then wanted more kick, went to find fling, fling become 小三，led to pain, 没完没了.

So take my advice, leave this dark world while you can. Brings nothing but misery in the end.

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

Wise words from bro Iwanboomboom.

TS, you're welcome. I sensed all along there is some good in you :)

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

Agree, and if someone stupid tells you "aiyah play play first lah, next time you married liao will settle down". No, they are lying, if you wanna take the "dark side" route, you gotta play until you can settle down. And usually the dark side doesn't involve money one. Is all about flings and ONS.


If its the other way around, your stable relationship will be ruined. So right now, just stop before you get addicted to the dopamine that comes from fucking a new FL.

Or maybe you can think of it this way, every FL have been touched by someone YOU deem disgusting before. Every part of her have been touched by that someone YOU deem GROSS. Why would you touch someone thats gross? It's like indirectly rubbing against his dick.

Re: Perhaps telling my story will make me feel better...
 

I agree with the fling become 小三，led to pain

that leads to a world of pain and more pain